Mystery men sighted around Rossland

Andrew Zwicker
By Andrew Zwicker
April 1st, 2010

 A contingent of strange men have been sighted around Rossland in recent days. The men, African by origin, have been seen going from door to door with machetes in hand. Residents who have been visited by these men have been extremely reluctant to tell this reporter exactly what they wanted.

“I’m not saying anything to anyone,” said Ben Taylor Gregg, a local contractor. “They’re looking for someone, that’s all.” Looking nervously around, Taylor Gregg began to close the door. “I’ve already said too much! Leave me alone!”

One resident went so far as to say the men repeatedly asked where the ‘iceboarding zone’ was. “When I said I’d never heard of iceboarding, they began waving their machetes and chanting. It was the most terrifying thing I’d ever seen,” said Nicole Zimmer. They left my place and went next door, but no one was answering the door. But I’ve got the feeling they’ll be back.”

These strange visitors have been sleeping in the post office at night and feed themselves by walking into Ferraro Foods and taking what they like. To date, no one has tried to stand in their way.

In an attempt to clear this mystery up, Telegraph editor Adrian Barnes will attempt to interview the men today.

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