OP/ED: Strange bedfellows not such a bad thing after all
By Christine Esovoloff
Ahhhh, spring is now, finally, here. It’s a time of year when thoughts turn to love …which makes me giggle now, as I look at my husband. He’s possibly the last guy in the world I ever would have pictured myself with, no matter how carried away I was with Spring Fever, and I am most certain that he would say the same thing. As far as romantic relationships go, my husband and I are a bit of an odd couple.
When I first met him, I was a 25-year-old hippy chick. I had a mop of bright red dreadlocks, tattoos, and thought that all that was needed to save the world was love. Aw.
(I feel I should say at this point that despite what any dread-lover tells you, dreads are, in fact, dirty. It doesn’t matter how often the person ‘washes’ them. They are filthy little bundles of dead skin cells and I shudder in embarrassment at having shared this shameful secret from my past. To be fair, I hadn’t yet discovered what a $300 straightening iron can do, which I think justifies my poor choice in hair styles.)
Moving on……
Then there was Rick. He was completely un-attracted to redheads, dreadheads, and tattoos. He had icy highlights in his hair, loved his Levi’s 501s from the previous decade, and was undeniably a redneck.
Unlikely couple? Heck, yes!
Our differences only took off from there.
I loved a house full of furry animals. Rick thought all animals belonged outside, or on a plate beside your potatoes and veggies.
I loved big group activities and a wide range of music. Rick preferred small intimate gatherings and didn’t like my eclectic taste.
I was obnoxious and boisterous. Rick was quieter, and more subdued. And so on, and so on.
Goodness only knows what brought us together, but as time went on, we noticed that we did have some similar personality traits, too. We are both voracious eaters. We are both loyal and steadfast friends. And we have a lot of the same family values as well.
And as the years passed, and our love for each other grew, we found that we were starting to rub off on one another. I noticed, begrudgingly, that all of the redneck sports such as snowmobiling, quading, and fishing weren’t half bad. I have even been known to let out a little redneck caw of delight at times.
And, my “animals belong outside” husband has been found on more the one occasion, cradling his beloved Basset Hound on the couch, whispering sweet nothings into his big floppy ears.
We are, without a doubt, a weird-hippy-meets-redneck match made in heaven. Don’t get me wrong, we have our issues. For example, Rick is a channel flicker. I know, annoying right? I can’t stand channel flickers. Just because there is a commercial doesn’t mean we have to surf through all 80 channels only to come back to the same one we were watching originally AND only to miss the first few minutes of the returning program because we were surfing 80 channels!
I’m sure you can see my frustration.
And Rick has also been known to leave the toilet seat up too, leaving me to fall in the water in the middle of the night when I get up to pee.
Alright fine, I’m not perfect either … I have been known to nag incessantly. And when I ask him the loaded question of “Do I look fat in these pants?”, the poor guy doesn’t stand a chance. If it takes him 0.001 seconds before he enthusiastically replies “Not at all!”, I get mad at him for hesitating in his response and accuse him of being dishonest. If he says that they are not the best-looking pants I’ve ever worn … well, that doesn’t turn out too well for him either. (He’s actually only made that mistake once, now he just runs when he sees me coming.)
Despite our few disagreements, I love my big ‘ol redneck man, and he loves me. So as Spring Fever takes over all of your minds and hormones, don’t forget to look around and see if there is someone special that you never really thought of as ‘dating material’ before. Who knows, you might just find a rednecked knight in shining armour or a boisterous dread-locked hippy who will steal your heart?
