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Rossland Fireighters Win 2016 Outhouse Races

Rossland Telegraph
By Rossland Telegraph
September 11th, 2016

Golden City Days enjoyed beautiful weather.  Happy crowds lined Columbia Avenue to watch as the parade marched in sunshine, crowds flooded into the Rossland Arena for the Fall Fair and enjoyed refreshements at the various food booths around town, music boomed from the stage set up in Sourdough Alley, and at 2:30 pm more crowds began gathering there for the spectacle of the 4th Annual Outhouse Races. 

The Rossland Firefighters team showed up a bit late, as usual, but  when the races finally got under way, the firefighters team excelled – despite their heavy firefighting garb.

With space for only two teams to race down Sourdough Alley side by side, the three competing teams took turns racing against each other.

Teams must stop partway down the race course and do a “drill” — the person occupying the outhouse must leap out and all team members must run three laps around their mobile, person-powered outhouse; then a different team member must ride in the outhouse.  At the finish line, a team member must place the team’s five rolls of toilet paper on the handle of the toilet plunger on the judge’s table.

At the culmination of the races, the judge confirmed that the Rossland Firefighters (Company #1) team had won the 2016 Outhouse Races.  He confessed that he could not really be described as “independent” though, because he is “related to about two-thirds of the team members in the race.”  This statement instantly identified him as a member of the LaFond clan.  He also noted that he didn’t think there were any La Fonds on the Firefighters’ team at this time.

Having displaced the previous winners, “Team Squeeze,” the Firefighters graciously accepted the trophy, a labelled wooden toilet seat (with lid), in a brief ceremony.

Will the Firefighters be able to defend their title next year?  Will they create another “first” by showing up on time in 2017?    Will this popular event attract  more entries next year?  Mutterings overheard in the audience suggested the possibility.  If more teams compete, a wider racecourse would be advisable.  Columbia Avenue would be wide enough, but permission would be required from the Ministry of Highways and Transportation.     

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